Construction Site Murder

A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other workers. Based on past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They were a motley crew:

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time.

The glazier went to great panes to conceal his past. He still claims that he didn't do anything; that he was framed.

The painter had a brush with the law several years ago.

The heating, ventilation and air conditioning contractor was known to pack heat. He was arrested once but duct the charges.

The mason was suspect because he gets stoned regularly.

The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter. The autopsy led the police to arrest the carpenter, who subsequently confessed. The evidence against him was irrefutable, because it was found that the workman, when he died, was hammered.

ON THE WAY TO JAIL

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with 

them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. 

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" 

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything 

he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail." 

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" 

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice 

and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" 

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these." 

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?" 

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback 

riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

Man and two thugs

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!

Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"

To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"