A Lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter. “Hello mate” says St. Peter, “I’m sorry, no Lawyers in heaven.” “What?” exclaims the man, astonished. “You heard, no Lawyers.” “But, but, but, I’ve been a good man”, replies the Lawyer. “Oh really”, says St. Peter. “What have you done, then ?” “Well” said the guy, “Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 dollars to the starving children in Africa”. “Oh” says St.Peter. “anything else?” “Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 dollars to the homeless.” “Hmmm. Anything else?” “Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 dollars to the Albanian orphans.” “Okay”, said St. Peter, “You wait here a minute while I have a word with the boss.” Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, “I’ve had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here’s your thirty dollars back, now fuck off”
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Lawyer Dies
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Night at the barn
A lawyer and two friends–a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man–had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn.”
“No problem,” chimed the Rabbi. “My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening.” With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. “What’s wrong?” asked the farmer. He replied, “I am grateful to you, but I just can’t sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal.”
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. “What’s wrong?” the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, “I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn. In my country cows are considered sacred and I can’t sleep on holy ground!”
That left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer’s door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow
Reasonable Doubt
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.”
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. “But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied: “Oh, we looked, but your client didn’t.”
General Knowledge
1. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of YAHOO..?
Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
2. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of ADIDAS?
ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
3. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
Satellite Television Asian Region
4. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
5. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.
6. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National
anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla )
7. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?
Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
8. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa
9. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
South Korea
10. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)
11. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
Geoffrey Boycott
12. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ?
John Traicos
13. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican )?
Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa ..
14. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
.. Polo.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Why honey is golden in color
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