Best man speech jokes

Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?

I remember the first time _____ and I dated. When I arrived at the house, her father said she was just putting the finishing touches to her make-up and would be down presently. Then he added, "Fancy a game of chess while you're waiting?

Being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it!

A Man Is A Luxury Not A Necessity

I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man
I’ll get one later
If I can.

I do not need
A man at all
I do not need one,
Short or tall.

Not in a house,
Not in a van,
I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man.

Not on the couch
Not in my bed
I’d rather sleep
Alone instead

I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man
I tried it once ~
He turned and ran

I do not need
One here or there
I do not need
One anywhere

I do not need
A_ _ _ _ing man
There must be
A better plan

Not one at work
Not one at play
I do not need one
Night or day

I’ve said it once
I’ve said it twice
A world without them
Could be nice

Black men, white men,
Men in blue
I am through with
All of you

Even though they
Make me drool
I’m not a fan of
The dating pool

I would not could not
Be a fool
Even for the
Biggest tool

Now thanks to
My new vibrator
You _ _ _ _ing man
I’ll see you later

I’ll try my hardest
Not to care
Even if he stands
There bare!!

I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man
That is where my
Plight began

Strong weiner

Sand Castle

Brinjal

Sincererity

Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.