Are like 2 tires

Husband and wife are like 2 tires of a vehicle. If one punctures, the vehicle can't move further. Moral: Always keep a spare tire...

Why the word woman starts with 'w'

You know why the word woman starts with 'w'? Because all questions start with "w".. ! Who ? Why ? What ? When ? Which ? Whom ? Where ? & finally Wife..!!

When Finished

Black Eye

A man came home late at night after a party. His wife yelled: "How would you feel if you don't see me for two days?" The man couldn’t believe his luck. He blurted out: 'That would be great'! Monday passed and he didn’t see her...... Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed too..... On Friday his swelling became better and now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

WHAT DEEP THINKERS MEN ARE

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.

Finally I thought about an age old question:

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer.

SWEARING AT WORK (JOKE)

To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings you are when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 new and innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and Information can continue to flow in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.