A.When they arrive they're wet and warm, when they leave they take your house and car.
Q.How many Women does it take to change a light bulb?
A.None, they just sit there and bitch about it!
Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other?
A. If we don’t get some support around here, people are going to think, we are nuts!
What are the three good things about being women?
1. You can bleed without cutting yourself
2. You can bury a bone without digging a hole
3. You can make a guy cum without calling him
Q: Why do women talk more than men?
A: They have two sets of lips.
What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
STRESS is when wife is pregnant.
TENSION is when girlfriend is pregnant.
PANIC is when both are pregnant.
Q: Why are women like parking spaces?
A: The best ones are taken and the rest are disabled!
Q. Do you know why women have no brains ?
A. They have no penis to keep them in!
Lisa is going on a long ocean trip. She goes to the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a three-month supply of birth control pills and 100 seasick pills.
The baffled pharmacist looks at her and says; “Lady, if it makes you so sick, why do it at all?
Q: How are rocks and women alike?
A: If they're flat you skim them.
The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you are a lousy lover!” The husband replies, “How would you know after only thirty seconds?
Q. When do you care for a man's company?
A. When he owns it!
A woman can have the body of a 21 year old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first.I've still got it but nobody wants to see it.
The good news is that even as we get older guys still look at our boobs.The bad news is they have to kneel first.
Don't let aging get you down, it’s too hard to get back up.
Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old,
you grow old because you stop laughing.
Q. What is the difference between men and women?
A. A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Mutation of deadly virus “I love you”
1. “I like you”.
2. “I like you, but let’s be friends”.
3. “I just wanted to hook up for a night”.
4. “I was drunk, I don’t remember anything”.
5. “Stop calling me, Idiot”.
6. “Fuck Off!!!”