Friday, October 27, 2017

Innocence at its best


A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother
in the doctors office.He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked,

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"Then why did you eat him?"

Technical Support


Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service: Mouse? And how it is related to printer?!!!
Caller: Mmmm.. Wait, I will send a picture.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Keep Smiling at work


How to look Happy at work
As of today all personnel will be expected to look happy at work.
Rubber bands and paper clips will be provided at no cost.
* Workload getting to you?
* Feeling stressed? *
Too many Priority 1 assignments?
Here is the new low cost way to cope with multiple Priority 1 assignments!
Take 2 paperclips and rubber bands. Fig. 1


Assemble them as shown on the picture. Fig. 2


Apply as shown in fig 3.


Enjoy your day.
This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of the day with a smile on your face! hahaha

Knowledge - Very Interesting, written by kids

Knowledge - Very Interesting, written by kids


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (smart girl)

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T G ET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Thursday, May 18, 2017

A Dentist's Wisdom



A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist
pulls out a freezing needle to give the man. "No way! No needles! I
hate needles!" the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the
laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing - the
thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!" The dentist
then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill. "No,"- the
patient says, -"I am fine with pills".

The dentist then returns and says, "Here is a Viagara tablet."
The patient says, "Wow - I didn't know Viagara worked as a pain pill!"
"It doesn't,"- said the dentist -"but it will give you something to
hold onto when I pull out your tooth."

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Teacher