Thursday, May 18, 2017

A Dentist's Wisdom



A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist
pulls out a freezing needle to give the man. "No way! No needles! I
hate needles!" the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the
laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing - the
thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!" The dentist
then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill. "No,"- the
patient says, -"I am fine with pills".

The dentist then returns and says, "Here is a Viagara tablet."
The patient says, "Wow - I didn't know Viagara worked as a pain pill!"
"It doesn't,"- said the dentist -"but it will give you something to
hold onto when I pull out your tooth."

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Teacher


Thursday, March 16, 2017

Courtroom Jokes (17)

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Courtroom Jokes (9)

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Gets bigger by rubbing

A teacher saw the word "PENIS" on the blackboard. She erased it.
The next day she saw it again written on the board in big letters. She erased it.
On the third day, it was there again and was written even more bigger. It
has a note which said: The more you rub it, the more it gets bigger!

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

How to Make a Man Happy

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him with peace
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don't bother him with his
movements
So whats so hard about that?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's really not too difficult but.... To make a
woman happy, a man only needs
to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. Go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU
MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY
IMPORTANT
53. never forget
*birthdays
*anniversaries
*valentine
*arrangements she makes.