Wednesday, February 6, 2013

STRANGE AND FUNNY TOMBSTONES

Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.

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In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast. . Pardon me For not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange. . Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.

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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont

Here lies the body of our Anna -Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God

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In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went

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Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore One slug from a 44 No Les No More