Ballon

Men and Women

Najib Fans

M'sia PM wife Rosmah visited a kindergarten and asked the children how many of them are 


Najib fans.


Not really knowing what a Najib's fan is, but with the promise of lots of candies and toys all the kids raised their hands except for Little Ah Wah..


Surprised, even with all the promised candies and gifts, Rosmah asked Little Ah Wah why he has decided to be different.....


Little Ah Wah said, "Because I'm not a Najib fan."


Rosmah now getting a bit embarrassed with all the TV and news cameramen and reporters around asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Najib?" Little Ah Wah said, "Because I'm a Bersih fan."


Rosmah now losing face asked Little Ah Wah why he's a Bersih fan. Little Ah Wah answered, "Well, my Mom's a Bersih fan and my Dad's a Bersih fan, so I'm a Bersih fan.!"


Totally outraged by this answer, Rosmah asked, "If your mom is a moron and your dad is an idiot, what would that make you?"


With a big smile, Little Ah Wah replied, "That would make me a Najib fan."

DIY water vest

Creative Label

OMG..18SX

Cat pushes his friend down the staircase !

Frantic call to the psychiatrist

"Doctor, you've got to help me," came the frantic call to the psychiatrist. "The man next door thinks he's in an opera. He sings day and night at the top of his 

voice. It's driving me crazy."
"Send him to me," advised the shrink. A week later, the caller phoned again, 

sounding much calmer. "Doctor, I don't know how you did it, but he's hardly 

singing at all now. Did you cure his delusion?"
"Not exactly," the psychiatrist replied. "I just gave him a much smaller part."

Bad Trees

8 Steps to Catch a Culprits

Drum Duty

A soldier was celebrating his wedding night when he called for report immediately to headquarters n without screwed up his new bridal he set off to headquarters. He is informed that army fell short due to a lethal fight against terrorists in Afghanistan and soldiers are summoned to deploy on front border in Afghanistan. 

Soldier reached in Afghanistan with unsatisfied desire and report to his commander about availability. Hey Cop! you looks upset what’s the matter?, asked the commander?. Soldier informed the commander, how he left his bride with out a blowjob on wedding night and added that it would be not possible for him to fight well in the situation like this. 

We have an arrangement of sex satisfaction for soldiers like you, replied the commander? How it is possible, enquired the soldier? You will go up the roof of the barrack no.6 tonight and a lot of drums are placed there. Your duty to kick hard any one of the drums and that’s all you want. 

Soldier reached at the given place right in midnight and surprised to watch a number of drums placed on the roof as commander told him. He reached near one drum and as he kicks hard on one of the drums an a** revealed out of the drum to his amazement. He f*cked hard till his sexual desire fulfilled.

Commander called in the soldier next day and asked are you happy and satisfied right now? Oh well sir! It was amazing and I am now satisfy and ready to join my duty today. You will join duty on day after tomorrow, Informed the commander? Why tomorrow sir, asked the soldier?

Coz you have to perform drum duty tonight, replied the commander.

"But you're so old... how do you do it?"

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was 

frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are 

you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told 

her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. 

"But you're so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and 

suck 'em dry!"

Mother in law's

It is a known fact that all daughters-in- law have problems with their mothers-in-law. Anyway one day the daughters-in- law all got together and decided to apologize to their mothers-in-law for everything they had apparently done wrong. A week later the daughters-in- law decided to take their families (including their mothers-in-law) on a picnic. 


The mothers-in-law were all in one bus, which was the first to leave. On The way their bus had an accident and all the mothers-in-law died. The daughters-in- law were devastated but one in particular was more heart broken than the rest. Everyone tried to console her by telling her that at least her mother-in-law had died without any tension between them. But still she cried. 


Eventually when she was calm enough to speak the other women asked her: why are you crying so much. Was your mother-in-law that special? The woman replied: no, my mother-in-law missed the bus...

From the Back

I was walking behind this "girl", long silky hair..

slim body (but unusually tall), wearing jeans , etc etc etc..

from the back.. look like a nicely proportioned lady..
then she stopped at a side stall and I walked past her, glancing 
to the back to catch a quick glimpse..

the lady has a mustache..
LOL..
i quickly turned away... and once I am safely far enough from him,
had to laugh at myself at what a weird experience..

Buy Horse

Babysitter to parents: "By the way, I promised Amy that if she went to bed without any fuss you'd buy her a horse in the morning."

When Engineers go to hell

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. 

It doesn’t take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. 

He soon begins to design and build improvements. 

Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. 

Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. 

One day, God calls Satan and says with a sneer: “So, how are things in Hell?” 

Satan replies: “Hey, things are going great. 

We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. 

And there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

“What!” God exclaims: “You’ve got an engineer? 

That’s a mistake — he should never have been sent to Hell… send him to me.” 

“Not a chance,” Satan replies: “I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him!” 

God insists: “Send him back or I’ll sue.” 

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: “Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?”

Money or grammer ?

A crusty old man walks into a bank & says, "I wanna open a f***ing saving account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated here."

She goes to the bank manager to complain.

The manager agrees such foul language can't be accepted.

They both return to the window and ask the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

Old man: "There is no f***ing problem, I just won $200 million bucks in the f***ing lottery & I want to put my f***ing money in this f***ing bank."

Manager: "I see, and is this b*tch giving you a f***ing hard time sir?"


Moral of the story:

When money talks, nobody checks the Grammar!