A Little Old Lady is being cross-examined by the DA

D.A.: What is your age?
Woman: I am 86 years old.
D.A.: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
D.A.: Did you know him?
Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
D.A.: What happened after he sat down?
Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
D.A.: Did you stop him?
Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
D.A.: Why not?
Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
passed away some 30 years ago.
D.A.: What happened next?
Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
D.A.: Did you stop him then?
Woman: No, I did not stop him.
D.A.: Why not?
Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive
and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
D.A.: What happened next?
Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and
said to him..."Take me ...young man...Take me!"
D.A.: Did he take you?
Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!"
...And that's when I shot the little bastard.